So You Think You Know American English?

If you work at a call center or are planning to, there is a chance you will be dealing with native English speakers like Americans. What you may not know is that our Philippine English is not always the same as American English. Some of the English words or phrases we use regularly may sound puzzling (or even funny) to Americans.

Read the short story below and see if you can find anything that may not sound right to Americans. This is NOT a grammar test, but a test of your familiarity with American English.

As I approached the local chapter of the Marvel Superheroes Fans Club, I began to have second thoughts. The building was constructed from unpainted hollow blocks and was just a little taller than me. But my editor had requested for an interview with the club president, so I went right in.

The tiny space was fitted with cheap plastic furnitures. Sitting behind a desk piled high with all kinds of stuffs was Leonard Chamberlain, club president.

“I have a good news for you,” he announced after greeting me. We have several old members dropping by later. You can interview them.”

He opened a small ref filled with different foods. “Can I get you anything?” he asked, removing a sandwich from the ref and popping it in his oven toaster.

If you have coffee or tea or juice, that would be great,” I said.

"Sorry, I don’t. How about a soft drink?”

I accepted the cola gratefully. Leonard’s relaxed, informal style put me at ease immediately. He talked with a slang and told the funniest green jokes.

After our snack, he invited me to go for a short walk. ‘I have to get rid of all these fats,” he laughed, patting his generous abdomen.

*     *     *

So how many words or phrases do you think Americans will find confusing? Three? Five? Seven? None? Believe it or not, there are thirteen English terms here that are familiar to Filipinos but not to Americans. Want to try looking again? Go ahead, we'll wait.

And here they are . . .

1. Fans Club: Whether the club is made of one or a million fans, Americans say fan club.

2.   Hollow Blocks: Americans say cinder blocks, not hollow blocks.

3. Request(ed) for: If request is used as a verb, we do not add for. PHILIPPINE VERSION: Customer requested for a refund. AMERICAN VERSION: Customer requested a refund. (On the other hand, if request is used as a noun, then for may be used: His request for a refund was approved.)

4. A good news: Whether it is one paragraph or an entire news bureau, Americans do not use the ‘a’: I have good news.

5.  Ref: When referring to a refrigerator, Americans say fridge. (To them, ‘ref’ is short for referee.)

6. Oven Toaster: Toaster Oven.

7. Soft drink: Notice that Leonard said he has no tea, juice or coffee, but he had cola. Coffee, tea and juice are soft drinks, as is any beverage without alcohol. What we call soft drinks Americans call soda.

8.  A slang: First off, Americans never put a before slang. Secondly, slang is NOT that broad accent we associate with Americans, especially from the East Coast. That is twang. But slang refers to well-known or recent idiomatic expressions, like calling a beginner a newbie is slang (or worse, noob if s/he is clueless. And clueless is another example of slang.)

9.  Green jokes: Americans say off-color jokes.

And finally, the most common example of Philippine English, pluralizing unnecessarily . . .

 10.  Furnitures: Just furniture.

 11.  Fats: When referring to bodily tissue or meat cuts, it is fat. (Fats is used in specialized cases like biochemistry.)

12.  Stuffs: Whether one item or an entire warehouse: stuff. (If used as a verb, Stuffs is sometimes used: He stuffs all that stuff into that cabinet.).

13.  Foods: Recently (mis)used by certain condominium visitors. Whether one sandwich or an entire buffet, it is always food. (Foods is sometimes used when referring to commodities or for commerce: Purefoods.)

So what lessons can be learned from all this? If your answer is

Now I know that I have to say cinder blocks and not hollow blocks,

Sorry, but that is only a tiny part of it. The whole point of this exercise is to show that there are so many examples of how the things we take for granted may be different elsewhere. 

There are many, many more examples other than these thirteen, so memorizing them is not enough, and learning the rules is too tedious.

The more important lesson is that with this revelation, we now must develop

active listening and active reading.

That means watching shows and reading material that use American English and then catching any differences from Pinoy English. So if a character or passage says: He ordered a dozen roses, an active listener/reader will right away notice: He said a dozen roses, not the usual a dozen of roses, and then commit that to memory.

Keep in mind that the reason many Filipinos say hollow blocks, green jokes, stuffs, etc. is because they hear other Filipinos use them and assume it is the norm. Their favorite argument is: That's how everybody says it. But 'everybody' is not limited to just the people around you. 'Everybody' says will gonna, but you won't hear a single American say that.

(Americans do have their own errors but they are different from ours. For example, some Americans say axe instead of ask, something we don't say.)  

Incidentally, active listening also works for correct pronunciation. For example, if an active listener hears the names Leonard or Chamberlain, s/he will notice that the first is pronounced LEH-nurd, not lee-O-nard, and the second is CHEYM-ber-lin, not cham-ber-LEYN.

********This is an original composition, but feel free to share******